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Level 3: Motivating Distracted Kids

I’ve heard it called many different things.  110%. Bringing your “A” game. Level 3. Flow.

It’s part of leadership.  It means bringing everything you’ve got to the table, putting it all out there for the purpose or cause or group of people who you are with.  It is very altruistic, a moment where you step entirely out of yourself and focus your energy on the mission or person at hand.

How do we help our children live Level 3?  How do we give them the tools to enter a group and raise its quotients of joy and meaning?

Level 3 is first and foremost a characteristic learned by observing. It is a behavior that can be broken down and practiced.  It’s not a genetic predisposition that makes us charismatic. It’s not a cocaine induced pretense of manic enthusiasm. It’s a spiritual quality.

Learning to live in level 3 takes aesthetical practice.  We begin by looking for examples of people living joyfully in the moment and draw our child’s attention to them.  Do they want that for themselves? Are insecurities or over inflated expectations keeping them imprisoned from discovering the joy that comes with authenticity? Are they the type of people that they would want to work with?

Like meditation, living Level 3 starts with a tremendous amount of mental energy. What are you doing in this moment? Is it what you should be doing? Are you bringing your all to it? It seems like mental calisthenics to push aside the desire to flee into distractions.

It gets easier with practice. Where can they practice? What are the groups they are in? Where is the feedback they get?  Are they interpreting the feedback correctly?

Level 3 abilifies the people around them.  As they let our own light shine, they give other kids permission to do the same.

Level 3 is a metacognitve practice where we ask our kids to step outside themselves and look at themselves.  As the 21st century washes up change faster than the tides, self-mastery and the ability to monitor our ability to confidently interact in new and different settings is a must. 

I had an experience last week where my son completely disengaged and became a disruption at the robotics team practice. His inattention bred others to become distracted and little got done. I watched it spiral, yet wasn’t attuned enough to recognize any solutions. I suffered a failure of imagination and disintegrated into berating the boys for a lack of commitment (the girls plowed through despite distractions).

As the week progressed, I continued my research on leadership and helped my husband as he developed a scouting leadership challenge for his troop.  I came across some writings of Baden Powell, the founder of Boy Scouts. In particular, his quote, “One of our methods in the Scout movement for taming a hooligan is to appoint him head of a Patrol. He has all the necessary initiative, the spirit and the magnetism for leadership, and when responsibility is thus put upon him it gives him the outlet he needs for his exuberance of activity, but gives it in a right direction.”

Not that I would ever look at my kid and think “hooligan.”  Baden Powell’s thoughts, though, reawakened my memories of Dan Pink’s great insights into motivation; it comes from stirring the passion within, not creating order and rules from without. Was the distraction of the group caused by my dwarfed expectations? Was the failure of imagination the failure to invite them to the heights and breadth of their possibilities?

This week, I placed my son in charge of the team board practice. We spent time looking at the overall vision for the team, the time line, the rules and some techniques of organization before practice. When practice came, he stepped up and modeled the enthusiasm needed to lead everyone in accomplishing the building and programming goals of the night. A parent was involved refining the presentation for the competition and pulled out two kids at a time that my son could assign. The structure worked. We accomplished much and went home celebrating.

James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner wrote in Leadership Challenge: “Leaders breathe life into the hopes and dreams of others and enable them to see the exciting possibilities that the future holds. Leaders forge a unity of purpose by showing constituents how the dream is for the common good. Leaders stir the fire of passion in others by expressing enthusiasm for the compelling vision of their group. Leaders communicate their passion through vivid language and expressive style. Whatever the venue, and without exception, the people in our study reported that they were incredibly enthusiastic about their personal-best projects. Their own enthusiasm was catching; it spread from leader to constituents. Their believe in and enthusiasm for the vision were the sparks that ignited the flame of inspiration.”

This week’s question:  When, in the last week, have you lived at level 3?

This week’s hero: Baden Powell

The week’s resource: If you haven’t already, consider involving your child in the local Scout troop.  The program has changed much in the last 20-30 years. Boy Scout merit badges include robotics, chemistry, nuclear science, and engineering. Three of the Beaver County FIRST  Lego League robotic competition teams are Girl Scout sponsored. Venture Troops are co-ed scouting that is adventure based. Google your local council and get involved!

If your son or daughter takes on a leadership role, whether robotics’ coach or scouting patrol leader, consider getting a copy of the Grow a Generation Resource Help I’m In Charge: Leadership Skills for Teens.

 

Permanent link to this article: https://growageneration.com/2011/10/27/level-3-motivating-distracted-kids/

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